Oh Lord. Oh Lover of my soul,
How I long to know You. This fire I wish never fades. Peace rests upon me. Sweet and indulgent peace. I am moving in the right direction, I feel better. But my emotions will and can deceive me. I know I must not dwell n them for long, but why would You gift me-gift us-with such malevolent senses, why would we have feelings if not for use? There must be purpose in them, it is part of Your likeness that I feel. It is what makes me a masterpiece as Your word declares.
I will learn not to depend on them but do not allow peace to forsake me. I acknowledge that pain and suffering exists; were it not for the pain and suffering You took upon Yourself I would not know You. But I request Oh Lord, as Your son, as Your beloved, that this all consuming fire for Your love and will not leave me. Though it may flicker and wane do not let it burn out once more. I have never been so sure of my love for knowledge of You. My heart jumped and the fire within me was ablaze studying of Your mysteries.
Though season pass, and though it rains on the just and the unjust alike, remember me. I will write and sing of You, for it is a secret I realized Your People [The Israelites] understood. I will remember You all of my days. Feed the fire within me, let me not forsake the flame. As Jeremiah realized, I cannot keep my mouth shut either. I must speak of Your greatness.
But if I say, “I will not mention his word
or speak anymore in his name,”
his word is in my heart like a fire,
a fire shut up in my bones.
I am weary of holding it in;
indeed, I cannot. (Jeremiah 20:9 NIV)
Grant Your peace to those in need. Use me as You see fit. Let my heart break Lord for what breaks Yours. Let my heart grieve for what grieves Yours. Let not a day go by that I do not desire what pleases You. Break me so that You can make me anew.
I love You!